Springwood: The Unofficial Robert Englund Fansite

Nobody Knows Anything!
.	Nobody Knows Anything! Directed by: William Tannen Written by: David Pasquesi Starring: Alanna Ubach, Michael Lerner, David Pasquesi, Mitch Rouse, Wayne Rogers, Fred Willard, Kristen Johnston, Richard Kind, Mike Myers, Ben Stiller and Robert Englund Genre: Comedy Runtime: 88 minutes Year: 2003 Tagline: About Movies. About Sex. About Life.

Plot

Nobody Knows Anything is a comedy that spoofs Hollywood and filmmaking. The story is about Sarah, played by Alanna Ubach, who wants to make a movie about her cousin Jimmy and his friend Virus who planned to rob Mr. McClintock's grocery store. Sarah decides to use of her uncle Lerner, who is portrayed by Michael Lerner. And he's a great help, for he has a list with many great names in the film industry. Sarah decides to visit them and tell her about her plans, but they all turn out to be pretty insane and not of much help either.

One of the names on Michael Lerner's list is Robert Englund's character Jack Sampson. Sarah visits him at this house and tells him the story for the film. Unfortunatly for her, Sampson is nothing more than a producer that wants to see sex and naked chicks in his film and doesn't give a shit about autenticity. "Authenticity is for CNN," is what he tells Sarah right before he advices her to shoot the picture on the beach and have tons of women in bathingsuits running on camera.

The story of Nobody Knows Anything! was written by David Pasquesi, who also plays the part of Sarah's cousin Jimmy, and directed by William Tannen. The film contains allot of short appearances by pretty big comedy- stars, such as Ben Stiller, Mike Myers, Joel Murray, Virginia Madsen, Fred Willard, Spin City actor Richard Kind and MASH actor Wayne Rogers, who also produced the film.
.

Trivia

Robert plays the part of Jack Sampson.

Many fans have said they think Ryan Stiles (Who's Line Is It Anyway?) looks like a young Robert Englund. In this film both Robert as Ryan Stiles can be seen in a short role.
.

Quotes

Jack Sampson smells a big cigar, he is holding in his hands.
"Hmmm, comes from Cuba!"
"Is that legal?"
"Cuba Gooding. 'Show me the money, baby!'"

Jack Sampson talking about casting the peach expert.
"I think perhaps you should think younger. Maybe ... Ben Stiller as the peach expert!"
"Well, whatever happened to authenticity?"
"Authenticity is for CNN. Ben Stiller is for movies!"

"This isn't about sex. That's not the point!"
"Wrong, that is the point. Sex! You gotta have sex. Real sex. Sexy sex. Wet sex between a guy and a gal. Like baywatch. Baywatch, that's it. Make it all happen at the beach! The whole picture! You re-shoot all the witnesses at the beach. You change the robery to the peach. And you make Miranda a sexy, sexy lifeguard. And you send it to me, sealed with a kiss and I'll get back to you!"
.